RPGisms
Recently, Gamespot wrote an interesting article on the dearth of innovation in games, and nowhere is this more true than in RPG's (like Final Fantasy). Because I'm really bored, I thought I'd list some universal RPGisms that we all take for granted, but would make no sense in the real world.
1. The world teeters on the brink of destruction. Time to send out the teenagers!
2. As any hero knows, saving the world takes a lot of money. So thankfully, the grateful public turn a blind eye to your open vandalism and property theft. In fact, they don't even bat an eyelid when you break into their homes and take everything that isn't nailed down!
3. On a related note, for an as yet unknown, but surely diabolical, reason, the animals of RPG land all carry human money on them. (It's a great way to make money for cash-strapped fledgling heroes...but somehow I don't think PETA would approve.)
4. In RPG land, there are not one, but 2 sets of universal laws of physics, depending on your gender. That is the only explanation for the rule, "Female armor shall follow the maxim: 'Less is more.'"
5. Who said war was supposed to be chaotic? In RPG land, the bad guys will always line up one side, the good guys on the other. And then you each take turns bashing each others' heads in like (presumably) civilized beings.
This is a work in progress, so if you can think of anymore, feel free to contribute :).
1. The world teeters on the brink of destruction. Time to send out the teenagers!2. As any hero knows, saving the world takes a lot of money. So thankfully, the grateful public turn a blind eye to your open vandalism and property theft. In fact, they don't even bat an eyelid when you break into their homes and take everything that isn't nailed down!
3. On a related note, for an as yet unknown, but surely diabolical, reason, the animals of RPG land all carry human money on them. (It's a great way to make money for cash-strapped fledgling heroes...but somehow I don't think PETA would approve.)
4. In RPG land, there are not one, but 2 sets of universal laws of physics, depending on your gender. That is the only explanation for the rule, "Female armor shall follow the maxim: 'Less is more.'"5. Who said war was supposed to be chaotic? In RPG land, the bad guys will always line up one side, the good guys on the other. And then you each take turns bashing each others' heads in like (presumably) civilized beings.
This is a work in progress, so if you can think of anymore, feel free to contribute :).
posted by Andy @ 12:25 PM
3 comments
3 Comments:
An entirely germane comic on the same subject:
http://www.ctrlaltdel-online.com/comic.php?d=20051230
It's today's comic at www.ctrlaltdel-online.com
Also in RPG land, people never get tired of talking to you, no matter how badly you stalk and harass them. However, they are adament about telling you that one thing over and over again, lest you forget.
Law of Probable Attire
(from http://www.abcb.com/laws/)
Clothing in anime follows certain predictable guidelines.
Female characters wear as little clothing as possible, regardless of whether it is socially or meteorologically appropriate. Any female with an excessive amount of clothing will invariably have her clothes ripped to shreds or torn off somehow.
Whenever there is a headwind, a Male characters will invariably wear a long cloak which doesn't hamper movement and billows out dramatically behind him.
First Corollary (Cryo-Adaptability) - All anime characters are resistant to extremely cold temperatures, and do not need to wear heavy or warm clothing in snow.
Second Corollary (Indecent Invulnerability) - Bikinis render the wearer invulnerable to any form of damage.
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