RPGisms II

Ten questions you should never ask in an RPG:

1) Why is everything in the world outside of towns trying to kill you?

Johnny: Look, mommy
(points at the cute bunny nibbling on the grass)
Mommy: Johnny, wait!
Cute Bunny attacks Mommy and hits for 12 points of damage!
Mommy is defeated.
Johnny: MOMMY! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

2) Why does every kingdom in the world consist of only 1 town?

3) Why are ancient civilizations always more advanced than the current one?

4) Why is it that wherever you start the game has the weakest weapons and armor, and wherever you end the game has the strongest?

You'd think that either:
a) Free market forces would encourage inter-kingdom trade, resulting in every shop carrying every piece of equipment that you can find in the game, or
b) the later kingdoms would hoard their superior technology and have conquered all the other cities whose technology is seemingly limited to fighting with pointy sticks and rocks....




5) Why do only a handful of people in the world speak with an audible voice? ... It begs the question, how exactly is the rest of the world communicating with each other?






6) Who put all these 'save points' around the world anyways?

7) Why do people get sad when people die? After all, most churches offer resurrection services for just a nominal fee. Besides, I mean, come on, Phoenix Downs are dirt cheap.

8) When you're walking around, how big is the bag exactly that's holding the 908 potions, 1093 items, the 14 swords, 13 shields, 6 staves, 20 bracers, 6 spears, and 7 claws? *Actual statistics from one of my FFX games*

9) By the end of the game, when the fate of the world hangs on the outcome of the upcoming final battle, and you're recognized everywhere as the Chosen Ones written about in the Ancient Prophecies, and all the kingdoms of the world are rallying behind you, and all the townsfolk are wishing you the best of luck, and praying for your safe return,...

...why are shopkeepers still charging you money? Not only that, they're still charging you full price! I mean, they're not lowering the price 1 single eensy-weensy gold piece. Don't they recall that the world is going to end, if you fail? You know, in reality, being the World Saviors-to-be, you'd have to use your shield to constantly block all the incoming free goodies that the people would be throwing at you in the streets, just so they can advertise later that the Heroes of Fate used their merchandise to kick the butt of Ultimate Evil.

10) How is it that you can be cut, burnt, maimed, frozen, bleeding from several critical wounds, with broken bones and numerous internal crush injuries, but just one night at the inn and your body is completely healed by next morning? And the price is soooooooooo cheap! These innkeepers could use some lessons on how to make money from the US health care system.